Frustated!!!

there are so many things to tell,tapi tak tau nak mulak yang mana..tak sempat nak update blog..

btw penantian hampir 6 bulan selama nih bakal berakhir tak lama lagi. mula2 rasa macam tak percaya jer yang me dah berjaya melalui tempoh 6 bulan di mana Dato' kena pergi kursus kat PD. i know i'm not strong enough to face  all this thing, but i have too.nak tak nak terpaksa juga. bukan bermaksud me tak boleh hidup without him,tapi nak juga life macam another couple.. have a good time together, keluar makan together. and spend time  on weekend together. kira macam lepak together laa. selama 6 years together both of us tak pernah do all those thing. kalau keluar selama nih pun we set the date. tapi alhamdulillah, sekurang2 nya kami ada juga kuar dating and spent most all the time habis atas jalan a.k.a atas rel LRT, KTM.. alhamdulillah.

bila Dato' cakap dia akan balik 28/12/12 me start to count the day.. for me mmg tak sabar nak spend time with him. as i plan i want him to meet my mom which is my mom will be here,Ampang for a few days. lagipun dah lama dia tak jumpa with my mom. apa yang mengecewakan dan buat me angin satu badan bila he told me that he will come back on 30/12/12!! mau tak angin. dah tak tau laa cakap macam mana lagi. rasa macam we are not meant together. ada saja halangan utk kami bersama. kadang kala rasa dah yawar hati dah. Mungkin Allah s.w.t bagi petunjuk yang kami nih bukan di takdirkan untuk bersama. kira ada saja halangan untuk kami berdua.

kadang2 fikir mungkin nih dugaan dalam hubungan kami, for me to be more under standing and be more patient with him and his career too. antara positif dan negatif. masing2 ada risiko nya. sampai satu tahap sekrang nih i dun know what to do.. me just ikut arus and the way yang dia bawa me untuk terus ke depan. i dun have feeling anymore. kira macam dah tak ketahuan dah. bila dia ada depan mata rasa lega sket. ada someone whonwill protect and care about me. kalau dia tak da seriously ase i'm alone.

sekarang nih tengah cool down kan hati yang panas nih sebab dia balik 30/12. wahai hati, bersabar yer. semoga ada ganjaran yang terbaik dan terindah lepas nih utk mu wahai hati..